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THE DAY I STARTED INITIATING PEOPLE, MY ONLY FEAR WAS, "WILL I be able someday to change my followers into my friends?" The night before, I could not sleep. Again and again I thought, "How am I going to manage it? A follower is not supposed to be a friend" I said to myself that night in Kullu – Manali in the Himalayas, " Don't be serious. You can manage anything, although you don't know the ABC of managerial science."

I recalled a book by Bern, The Managerial Revolution. I read it not because the title contained the word revolution, but because the title contained the word managerial. Although I loved the book, Naturally I was disappointed because it was not what I was looking for. I was never able to manage anything. So that night in Kullu Manali I laughed.

(Autobiography of a Spiritually Incorrect Mystic)

Question:- Have you stopped initiating people into Sannyas and creating disciples? ….. What is discipleship?

It is the highest, and deepest name of love. If you want to love me, how can I stop you? If you shed tears in love for me, how can I stop you? And if you dive into what I call meditation, how can I stop you? Whosoever wants to be a disciple, no one can stop him. And that is why I have dropped all the formalities that were there for making someone a disciple, because now I want only those who are coming toward me on their own accord, not via some other rout. Now, the whole responsibility is yours.

For instance we teach students in the first grade: 'A' is for apple, 'G' is for Ganesha. In fact previously G used to be for Ganesha, now it is for Gadha, the donkey. It is a secular State. Here it is not appropriate that the word Ganesh appears in the textbook. But neither does Ganesh have anything to do with G or gadha. It is just a way to teach a small child. The child finds gadha or Ganesh more interesting. He does not find any interest in the letter g. But slowly, slowly gadha will be forgotten, Ganesh will be forgotten, only g will remain, and only g will be used.

If you keep having to read a for apple, g for Ganesh, by the time you enter the university, there will be no opportunity to study. Even to read one complete sentence will be impossible. And after reading it, it will become difficult to understand what the meaning is, because who knows how many donkeys and Ganeshas and mangoes will be in the sentence?

So when I started, I had to initiate people into Sannyas, to make people disciples. But how long can one play the joke of gadhas and ganeshas; apples and pineapples? Now Sannyas has matured. Now, formalities no longer have an important place.

Now, if you are in love , become a disciple. It is not something even to be talked about. Now, no need even to let anyone know: if it is your feeling, be a sannyasin. Now, the whole responsibility is yours. This is the sign of being mature. How long can I walk along with you, holding your hand? Before my hands are removed, I have to let go of your hands by myself, so that you can stand on your own feet – relying on your own hands, your own responsipility – and walk.

(Komplen Phir Phoot Aayen)


Nothing sir, nothing in particular. Exactly nothing: that's the commodity I deal in. Literally, it is much ado about nothing. But the nothing is not just nothing; it is the source of all. Sannyas means you are tired of being yourself and you are ready to drop that burden. You are tired of being and you would like to rest in nonbeing. Sannyas is a state of nonbeing. You drop yourself and you enter the realm of nothingness... and suddenly everything is beautiful -- because things were ugly because of you. They were not ugly in the first place, not ugly themselves, it was your interpretation; you were corrupting them. Now the corrupting agent is no more there, eyes are clear and one can see through and through; one's vision is transparent. YOU disappear in sannyas. And the moment you disappear, immediately, instantly, God appears. When you are not, God is.

So sannyas is not a way to decorate your being. Sannyas is utterly destructive. I annihilate you. In the old Eastern scriptures it is said, "The master is a death." The master is the greatest death -- but only through death, new life becomes possible. The greater the death, the greater the resurrection. Let me be your cross. Die in me so that you can be reborn.

You ask what will happen if you take sannyas. This question arises out of fear, out of greed. You would like to be certain, promised, what will happen. If I promise you anything that very promise will become the barrier; then sannyas will not happen -- because to whom am I promising? To you: to your greed, to your ambition, to your desire -- to all that nonsense I am promising -- and that whole nonsense has to go. Not even a bit can be allowed to remain. If even a bit remains, that's enough. Ego is like cancer: you have to utterly annihilate it. Even if a small part remains somewhere, it will grow again... and cancer grows fast. Kamal has sent me a beautiful anecdote; I would like you to meditate over it... Once Mulla Nasruddin came home, as usual very drunk. His wife was in a rage, more so because he had just promised the other day that he was trying to leave his habit by and by. And the wife said, "Now, what about your leaving the habit?" Mulla said he had tried his best to break the habit, but when he cut `h' from the word `habit' still `a bit' remained. When he cut `a' still `bit' remained, and when he cut `b' still `it' remained.

Ego is like that. You go on cutting: `a bit' remains... `bit' remains... `it' remains -- but it REMAINS. And this desire to be certain what is going to happen, is an effort of the ego to survive even sannyas. No, I cannot promise you. You are to go TOTALLY – then something is going to happen. But you cannot even conceive it, what it is.It is just like a blind man asking, "What is going to happen when my eyes will be operated on and I will be able to see? What is going to happen? Tell me -- otherwise I am not going to take this operation. Let me first be certain. Let me feel what is going to happen." What can you say to the blind man? Can you say, "You will be able to see colors and the rainbow and the butterflies and the flowers"? "you will be able to see light -- light playing on water, sunrays being reflected by dewdrops"? He will say, "What you are saying is all nonsense. I don't know what you are talking about. Talk sense!" Because to talk to a blind person in the language of those who have eyes is nonsense. I cannot say to you what is going to happen, and whatsoever I say you will not be able to understand, and whatsoever YOU can understand is not going to happen. Hence trust is needed.

Sannyas is not a conversion, it is a quantum leap in trust. Sannyas is a gambling, it is not a bargain. I can say only one thing: you will not be there. Something will be there – call it "x". Old religions call it God. Buddha calls it nirvana, Jesus calls it the kingdom of God. But all those words are meaningless to you. Kingdom of God? -- talking about a rainbow to a blind man? talking about Beethoven's symphony to a deaf man? No, it does not carry any meaning. I cannot say what is going to happen. The only meaningful word that I can say is: Nothing is going to happen, exactly nothing. But remember, nothing does not mean nothing; it means the source of all. That's what Buddha's word `nirvana' means: nirvana means `nothing'. Nirvana simply means you will cease to be, you will not be there.

The word `nirvana' means exactly as when you put off a candle. When you blow a candle out, if somebody asks where the light has gone what will you say? You will say it has disappeared into nothingness; it is no more, it is lost into the whole. To put a candle off, to blow a candle out, is the literal meaning of the word `nirvana'. Sannyas is a readiness to be put off: the candle that is burning in you, the candle of ego, will not longer be there. Instead of it there will be a tremendous space.... But that space is not known to you, it is not your experience.

You can see it in my eyes if you try. You can feel it in my presence if you allow. But to say anything about it will not carry meaning. It will become philosophy; it will not be truth. Truth uttered becomes false -- not because it is uttered but because those who will hear it are bound to misunderstand it. Either they know it -- then they can understand it, but then there is no need to utter it; or they know not -- then the need is there to utter it but then they cannot understand it, they can only misunderstand.

If you allow me, totally, unconditionally, something is going to happen -- something of tremendous import, immeasurable.... Even the sky is not the limit for it, because it has no limit. It is tremendous, huge; it is oceanic. But if you don't allow me, then too, nothing will happen -- nothing in the sense that you know the word. If you allow me then nothing will happen in the sense I am using the word. If you don't allow me, you can take sannyas, you will be in orange -- but the same old ego will now be hiding behind orange. Maybe the ego will even become more strengthened


And today I would like to declare something immensely important, because I feel perhaps this helped Sheela and her people to exploit you. I don't know whether tomorrow I will be here or not, so it is better to do it while I am here and make you free from any other possibility of such a fascist regime. That is, from today, you are free to use any color of clothes. If you feel like using red clothes, that is up to you. And this message has to be sent all over the world to all the communes. It will be more beautiful to have all the colors. I had always dreamed of seeing you in all the colors of the rainbow. Today we claim the rainbow to be our colors. The second thing: you return your malas – unless you wish otherwise. That is your choice, but it is not a necessity anymore. You return your malas to President Hasya. But if you want to keep it, it is up to you. The third thing: from now onwards, anybody who wants initiation into sannyas will not be given amala and will not be told to change to red clothes – so we can take over the world more easily!

Telling you that it is up to you to wear malas or not, it is up to you to be in red clothes or not, is not out of any hurt feeling in me. Nobody can hurt me – that is impossible, because in the first place I never expect anything from anybody. So disappointment is impossible. I have said these things because I love you, and I want you to be responsible and to take decisions on your own so that no fascist kind of regime again fetters you and destroys you. I cannot be withyou always. One day I will have to leave my body, and then there will be every possibility of people exploiting you, becoming your leaders.

Red clothes don't mean anything – they were used as a device. I wanted my people to be courageous enough to stand in society – aloof, alone. I had given them the mala so that they become associated with me, they become associated with all my ideas, which are against all religions, all political ideologies. That point has been made. Now my sannyasins are around the world. It is perfectly easy to drop the color, the mala – there is no problem. Now you have to be more...

I have not made things easier for you, remember – I have made things difficult. Now only meditation remains for you. And now, only through meditation will you be recognized as sannyasins. Meditation has to change you so much that you become a different species, that even in a crowd my sannyasins can be picked out. They will have a radiation of their own, a silence of their own, a peace of their own. Their eyes will show it, their bodies will show it, their gestures will show it.

Meditation I cannot drop because that is what is going to transform you and bring you one day to bhagwata, godliness. Meditation is the way to godliness

(The Light On The Path)

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