Part 2

OSHO: THE MOST BETRAYED AND THE MOST MISUNDERSTOOD ENLIGHTENED MASTER

OUR INTENTIONS BEHIND WRITING THIS CHAPTER IS NOT TO CONDEMN THOSE WHO PARTED WAYS WITH OSHO AND ALSO TRIED TO DEFAME HIM. OSHO'S MAIN MESSAGE IS MAN'S INDIVIDUAL FREEDOM – FREEDOM EVEN TO GO AGAINST HIS TEACHINGS AND BETRAY HIM, BECAUSE AN ENLIGHTENED MAN IS AT SUCH A HIGH STATE OF CONSCIOUSNESS THAT THE FAME, DEFAME, CONDEMNATION OR BETRAYAL CANNOT TOUCH HIS BEING. MOREOVER HUMAN BEING IS NOT A STATIC PHENOMENON – HIS CONSCIOUSNESS IS ALWAYS IN A FLUX AND HIS MIND GOES ON CHANGING CONTINUOUSLY. THEREFORE, TO PREDICT A MAN FROM HIS PARTICULAR BEHAVIOU IN PARTICULAR CIRCUMSTANCES AT A PARTICULAR TIME WILL BE TOTALLY WRONG. HE CAN STILL CHANGE AND COME BACK TO HIS EARLIER STATE BECAUSE THE FUTURE IS OPEN AND UNPREDICTABLE.

OUR INTENTIONS BEHIND WRITING THIS CHAPTER IS TO LET THE FRIENDS OF OSHO KNOW THE CUNNING TRICKS OF MIND AND HOW A SEEKER OF TRUTH CAN FALL IN THE TRAPS OF HIS EGO. THE STRANGEST THING TO NOTE HERE IS THAT THE HIGHER A SEEKER GOES ON HIS JOURNEY THE MORE ARE THE CHANCES OF HIS FALLING BACK TO DARKER VALLIES. THE PEOPLE, PARTICULARLY OSHO SANNYASINS, HAVE BEEN WITNESSING THE PHONOMENON OF BETRAYAL OF OSHO BY HIS DISCIPLES WHO WERE CONSIDERED TO BE ADVANCED IN SPIRITUALITY, MORE DEEPLY CONNECTED WITH OSHO FOR VERY LONG TIME AND HIGHLY DEDICATED TO HIS WORK BUT IN SPITE OF ALL THIS THEY PARTED WAYS WITH HIM AND EVEN STARTED TO ACT AGAINST HIM AND HIS WORK. THEREFORE THE SAYING: "UNTILL ONE REACHES ON THE TOP OF THE PEAK AND RELAX THERE, THERE IS EVERY CHANCE OF HIS FALLING BACK. NEARER ONE IS TO THE PEAK, MOPRE ARE HIS CHANCES TO REGRESS AND FALL IN THE DARKER VALLEY". UNFORTUNATELY, THIS HAS BEEN THE FATE OF MANY OSHO SANNYASINS.

WHATEVER OSHO HAS SPOKEN ABOUT SOME OF HIS SANNYASINS IS NOT OUT OF ANY FEELING OF HURT BUT OUT OF LOVE. ANY ENLIGHTENED PERSON HAS NO OPTION BUT TO ACT OUT OF LOVE.

"I don't want to hit anybody, but except hitting you I cannot wake you up when you have fallen asleep. Consciously, whatever you say is absolutely right, that you would rather cut your tongue than say a word against me, that you would rather die than offend me. These are not just poetic assertions. I understand you perfectly, but you still have the unconscious mind and that unconscious mind manages to sabotage whatever you are gaining in your consciousness."

"It does not matter... I have not hit you because you were disrespectful. Remember it -- because I have been condemned my whole life: from my very childhood I don't know a day when I was not condemned for doing things not in the way people wanted. I have become so accustomed and at ease with condemnation, disrespect, notoriousness -- everything -- so that is not the question. Just Sarjano's disrespect will not add anything; it will be just a dewdrop in an ocean, so that is not the problem. The problem is that it will disrupt your consciousness, your love, your peace that is growing, your meditativeness that is growing, and I cannot see that happening."

THIS CHAPTER, AS HAS BEEN THE CASE OF OTHER CHAPTERS ALSO, IS BASED ON THE TALKS OF OSHO AFTER THE PERIOD OF LONG SILENCE WHEN OSHO STARTED TALKING ABOUT MANY THINGS WHICH HE HAD BEEN HOLDING BACK WAITING FOR THE RIGHT PEOPLE AND THE RIGHT TIME. WE HAVE ALSO USED AS SOURCE THE WRITINGS OF OSHO SANNYASINS IN FEW BOOKS AND MAGAZINES FOR PREPARING THIS CHAPTER.

"THOSE WHO HAVE COME DIRECTLY TO ME CAN BETRAY"

"The question is not of being my sannyasin, the question is of being A sannyasin. To be my sannyasin certainly needs a certain commitment, a certain surrender. And I do not want you to be surrendered to me, or to be committed to me. I want you to be surrendered to nature, committed to existence. You need not be my sannyasin, you have just to be A sannyasin -- and that's the only way of being my sannyasin."

"It is not a direct phenomenon -- that directly you commit yourself and surrender to existence. But the deeper you surrender to existence, life, nature, the more loving, the more understanding, the more insightful you become; and that insight will bring you closer to me. You will find in me, indirectly, the state of total surrender, total trust. Don't be worried that you don't have that total trust now. Even if you have a little bit of trust, that is enough to begin with. Just open the bank account; you need not have millions to open the bank account with. With the smallest trust you can start the journey, and as the journey grows deeper, the trust grows deeper. Soon you will find yourself surrounded with only trust.
That moment you will feel you are my sannyasin."

"Those who have come directly to me can betray. Those who have come indirectly to me cannot betray, because even before coming to me they had already tasted something of the beyond, and to betray is impossible. But there have been many sannyasins who have come directly to me. They started their commitment, their trust, towards me as a beginning. That is not a right beginning, because that means there is a certain belief. They don't know me, they can't know me -- and still they have believed." "There is danger because the doubt is there; the doubt can any day take over their belief. But the authentic sannyasins, the real ones, have come to me in a very indirect way. It is very difficult for you to find out who has come in what way, because it is something inner that you cannot see. But the people who have come slowly, trying to understand me, step by step, moving towards being natural, authentic, sincere... suddenly one day they find they are related to me. Strange -- they had never tried for it, they had not made any effort. It is a discovery."

"SO TEERTHA HAS BECOME A MINI-GURU. HE KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT ENLIGHTENMENT. HE HAS NEVER MEDITATED."

"Teertha was hoping.... He was the first therapist to join the ashram; naturally, because he was the first, he became the chief therapist without any formalities. Nobody had told him that he was the chief therapist. It was just by coincidence, because he was here before anybody else – the other therapists came later on – that he managed to become the chief. And there was no harm in it; somebody had to take care of all the therapy groups."

When the commune dispersed he saw clearly that I cannot be in America – for fifteen years "I cannot enter America. And in India the American government is pressurizing the Indian government that no foreign sannyasins should be allowed in."

Seeing the situation, he thought it was better to open an institute of his own in Italy. There was no harm in opening the institute in Italy. I had to tell my therapists that wherever they were they should continue to create institutes, communes, because all European countries have banned me. I cannot enter into Europe, I cannot go to America, and foreign sannyasins cannot come into India."

"Now there was no need to accept me as his master; there was a chance of becoming a master himself. So Teertha has become a mini-guru. He knows nothing about enlightenment. He has never meditated. Here he was involved with his groups, which have nothing to do with meditation. And I have told these therapists, "You should meditate," but it was against their egos, because they were therapists. Thirty or forty people were joining their groups, and they were the leaders. To meditate with the same people was against their egos, so they never meditated. People must have been asking him, "Is your institute Osho's institute?"

He said, "I have not been Osho's disciple...."
Then what was he doing here? What was he doing in America? And the same has been done by Somendra, by Rajen, by a few other therapists – they are all therapists. Finding an opportunity that they can become mini-gurus.... But for that they have had to deny that they had anything to do with Osho."

"Love can be forgiven because it is biological. It is bound to change. Trust is not biological; it is a higher phenomenon. But even the people who believed that they had trust in me -- and they were not befooling themselves, they really believed they had trust in me -- just they had not found the opportunity to betray. Now they have found the opportunity, now they have the opportunity.

It was paying to be intimate to me, to have trust in me; now it can be dangerous to have trust in me. Now it is not paying."

"Ananda Teertha wrote me a letter: "We have opened a meditation academy." Devageet was there -- he worked hard to find a place, to arrange the money. Devageet helped tremendously to open the academy, and he insisted that my name should be there. But no therapist was willing that even a mention of me should be made. And Teertha wrote in explanation, "We have not put your name on the academy, we have not mentioned your name anywhere, for the simple reason that your name has become dangerous. People become afraid to join the therapy group if it is your therapy. Governments won't allow..." So now it is paying... they have all dropped their names, starting with "Swami" or "Ma"; they have kept just "Teertha," "Rajen." That too is cunning. Why not bring back your old name again? -- Because that old name has no prestige, and they want to ride on both horses. They want to exploit the sannyasins with their names, and they want to exploit the non-sannyasins by dropping my name and any concern with me completely from their therapy groups."

"They had come to me as failures. Therapies were dying in America and Europe because people did them and found it is just a game. I made them world-famous therapists, changed the structures of their therapy, joined it with meditation, and they became the topmost therapists in the world. They had come to me as failures, bankrupt. But they have all forgotten that. Now they think that I am a danger. To be with me is no more paying; it is better to be on your own."

"But they cannot leave the sannyasins either, because if you are totally on your own, no sannyasin is going to bother about you. So in advertising, they are using the red clothes; in their pictures they have malas. But in reality, they are not using red clothes, they are not using malas. What kind of cunningness...? It seems not only politicians... perhaps every human being has a certain hidden politician in him."

"Devageet told me that he had to almost physically fight for at least putting a picture of me in the brochure because they were all putting their pictures in it. With great difficulty they agreed, and they put a very old picture so that nobody would recognize that it is my picture. And they have not put my name underneath the picture. Under their pictures, their names are there, but under my picture there is no name. And some amateur must have taken this picture; nobody can tell whose picture it is."

BY BETRAYING SHE LOST THE PARADISE

(For material on this topic please click: MA ANAND SHEELA, Ex Secretary)

SHIVA: A GUARD THAT FAILED

"You have seen Shiva sitting here for almost seven years, and his gratitude was as deep as it can be. He would have died to save me. But you are not aware of the whole of your own mind. He came to the commune in America, but the whole setup had changed. He wanted, there too, to sit by my side, to have the same power. He used to think that he loved me – if he had loved me, then there would not have been any problem. He loved his own power. He was the chief guard in the ashram, but by the time he reached the commune, other guards, more efficient, had taken his place. He was not made the chief guard. Then all his love disappeared, all gratitude disappeared."

"He has written a book against me now, full of lies, with no foundation in truth. But he has to justify why he has left. Still he is blind, still he cannot see that it was power that was keeping him here and it is power that is now taking revenge."

"Shiva has written a book against me, full of lies. I have told the English sannyasins to sue him in court, because what he is saying is utter nonsense."

"And you can see the cunningness. In Poona, every evening I used to have a meeting for people who were taking sannyas. It was an open meeting -- almost sixty, seventy, sometimes a hundred people would be present. One dozen people or maybe more would be initiated. And ten sannyasins were dancing as mediums to create a vibrant energy."

"And Shiva has written in his book that every night I need ten women, without making any reference to the fact that those ten women are mediums and they dance in an open place with one hundred people watching, a dozen people present to be initiated. He does not mention that; he simply mentions every night I need ten women."

"Can you see -- can a person be more ugly? And he used to trust in me so much that he used to say that he can give his life -- and this is what he is giving! And there are thousands of things which are absolutely wrong, fabrication, fiction, from his own mind. Love is beautiful when it is there, but soon it becomes bitter."

"Trust is beautiful when it is there. But its test comes when an opportunity arises such that if you still go on trusting you will be putting yourself in danger, and it no longer pays. At that time, trust can become just its opposite; it becomes a revenge. It becomes an argument to satisfy oneself that, "I am not betraying: in fact, I was wrong in trusting the man; the man was wrong." Now he has to prove to himself and to others that the man was wrong: "I have not betrayed, I have simply discovered that the man was wrong."

"It is just to feel not guilty. It is an effort to whitewash, to wash your hands which are full of blood. But no lies, no allegations, can make any difference to the fact that you have betrayed -- and in betraying you cannot harm me. Nobody can harm me. You are simply harming yourself. Now you have destroyed your own capacity to trust, and if the bridge of trust is destroyed, you will never be able to go beyond it."

"And it is strange: the people like Shiva, who lived almost six, seven years with me -- if they could not discover all these facts then that they are "discovering" now when they are not with me, it only proves one thing: that they are retarded. It takes seven years to discover? -- things which you are talking about now you must have "discovered" five years before. At that time you could not manage to expose them?... that was the right time."

"It is a psychological thing to be understood. Many more books will be written, many more articles will be written by sannyasins -- just because they have trusted and now they are betraying. Some reason has to be there for why they are leaving me. Without a reason, they will feel guilty, and if there is no reason, they have to invent it. They have to create lies."

"Love is not very reliable, but useful.
Use it, and move to trust.
But trust is also not hundred percent proof.
Move beyond.
Then you cannot fall; then there is no way of going back. Then it is something which partakes of eternity."

"AND OUR SANNYASINS HAVE TO BE INFORMED THAT HIS HYPNOTHERAPY IS NOT GOING TO HELP THEM."

About your experience with Santosh and his dehypnotherapy, I can only say one thing: Santosh knows nothing about dehypnotherapy. He himself is so tense, so continuously worried, has so many problems... but he had studied hypnosis as a student for years in Germany so he knows the technique; but he has never been in those spaces himself. It is just like... you can read the map of the whole world and you have never been to those places, ever. Knowing where Constantinople is does not mean that you have been there. Knowing about it is one thing; being there is a totally different phenomenon. And in the schools only the technique, the know-how, is being taught.

So when Santosh came to me he had the know-how of hypnosis. I engaged him in hypnotherapy, and I tried my best to make him understand that we have first to create a state of de-hypnotherapy -- because every child is being hypnotized, from the very childhood. That's how conditioning happens; that's how you get your mind. Your parents may not know, your teachers may not know, your priests may not know what they are doing: they are practicing hypnotic techniques. By the time you leave the university, you know all the techniques for conditioning others. So whoever comes to me is already conditioned.

I was trying to make Santosh understand, "First dehypnotize these people, let them get rid of what society has forced upon them, and only then will hypnosis be clean, young, fresh, just born."

He was only a student, so he changed the name of his therapy to dehypnotherapy on my suggestion. But what he has been doing is still the same techniques that he had learned in Germany. And those techniques can create horror, because first you are filled with social conditionings, and on top of it you are hypnotized.

"Now all these therapists are befooling themselves. Because the commune has been destroyed by the American government, it has been a tremendous blessing to the therapists."

"We had a property of the commune in Laguna Beach in America, and our sannyasins were running it; we had made a board of directors. It was a three million dollar property. What Santosh did was, he took three hundred sannyasins from the ranch to Laguna Beach, and all the sannyasins became members of the Laguna Beach commune -- and of course they changed the whole board of directors. Santosh brought his own directors, his own board, and he opened a dehypnotherapy institute in Laguna Beach. My name is not mentioned. He has appropriated the property without thinking of its legal implications. And we had been fighting for years, four years, to win the case...."

"It was a strange case. There used to be a Christian Church, but of a very independent character. The man who was leading the church, the priest, did not belong to any organization; it was independent, it had four hundred members. But the priest became interested in me. He and his wife came to Poona and became sannyasins, and then he went back. Instead of THE BIBLE he started teaching through my books. His congregation could not believe what had happened."

"But many of his congregation were thrilled -- they were tired of listening to THE BIBLE, bored. Many of his congregation came to Poona and became sannyasins, almost thirty persons became sannyasins. And then there was a conflict. The conflict was... the non-sannyasins left the congregation because it was no longer Christian, and they had joined it because it was Christian. So they left the congregation; it became purely a sannyasin commune."

"Then the old priest retired.... He used to come to festivals in the commune with his wife - - he was still alive and still had love for me -- but he wanted to retire, he was old. So he retired, appointing sannyasins as the priests of the congregation. When he retired, the people who had left the congregation went to the court, saying that the buildings and the grounds -- and it is a beautiful place, Laguna Beach -- belong to them, and these people are not the owners of it. We had to fight the case for four years continually." "The case was decided in our favor for the simple reason that these people had left the congregation; they were no longer members of it, and they had no right.... They should have remained part of the congregation and appealed to the court, then the situation would have been different. They were the majority, but they had left, and now seeing that sannyasins had captured the whole property and the church, they wanted it back. The court dismissed the case because they had no right any longer. The moment you leave the congregation, you have no right...."

"So we were keeping that property, fourteen sannyasins were there, and we wanted to sell it; for the new mystery school you will need money! Santosh has done a great service to us. Now he is the head priest. He knows nothing as far as experience is concerned, and he will destroy many people. So I have informed our people that something has to be done and Santosh has to be removed from there; or he has to pay three million dollars, and then he can do whatever he wants to do in the property. And our sannyasins have to be informed that his hypnotherapy is not going to help them."

BEAUTIFUL WORDS LIKE LOVE CAN BE DISTROYED BY THE CUNNING MIND

"You have heard, "I love you;" soon the "I" will disappear, only love will remain, because with the "I" disappearing on the one hand, the "you" on the other hand also disappears. Hidden behind this message is still something more, and that is simply "love" – no "I," no "thou."

"But people are so cunning... you cannot imagine. One of my sannyasins, Zareen, asked Swami Ajit Saraswati, who has been in contact with me for almost twenty years.... He was in the commune in America, and the day he departed from there, he promised me that he was simply going to spread my message." "But I have been here for so many days, and he has not been seen. Zareen was puzzled. She enquired of Ajit Saraswati when she met him, "Why are you not coming?" And this is how the cunning mind is: he said, "I love Osho. Osho is in my heart. There is no need to come to the ashram to see him."

"Is this the language of love? It is the cunning mind which does not want to accept the truth, that Ajit Saraswati has proved to be a coward. He is afraid of the Hindu chauvinists, of which Poona is full. Coming to me is risky, dangerous. It would have been far more credible if he had said the truth: I am a coward, and I cannot come because I am afraid of the society."

"But instead of saying this, he says, "I love Osho so much. He is always in my heart" – that is why there is no need to come here. Then why does he go to his wife? – does he love her or not? Why does he go to his children? – does he love them or not? Why does he go to his friends? – is there any love, or not? Or am I the only exception?" "Let him come one day – he will have to come – but I am not going to see him, because I love him so much. He is in my heart. Why should I see him? Even Zareen was shocked – the way he used the word "love." Beautiful words can be destroyed by the cunning mind."

"But people like Ajit Saraswati have not approached me in the same way. Their approach has been of the head, of the intellect. They were convinced that what I was saying was exactly what they believed. I was secondary; they were primary. They were comparing continuously: my being right was dependent on whether it fitted in with their own intellectual garbage. Any moment, if I said something that did not fit with their ideas – immediately there were doubts."
"They did not love me, they only loved their own thoughts. And what thoughts do they have? Everything is just borrowed from here, from there – and it is impossible for me to go on saying things which suit the philosophy of everybody who comes to me."

"But as far as Ajit Saraswati is concerned, I was never certain, even for a single moment – because he was continuously thinking that he knows. Perhaps he is not capable and articulate enough to say it, but whatever I am saying is his knowledge; as long as he found that they were running parallel and together, he was with me. Although he thought that he was in love with me, his love was unconscious, only a thought. Your love is a reality." "Whenever you have a headache, you don't say, "I think I have a headache." There is no question of thinking; you simply say, "I have a headache." If a person says, "Perhaps I have a headache..." he himself is not certain about his own headache."

"Ajit Saraswati, and people like him, thought that they loved me, but they simply loved their own thoughts – and they found echoes of their own thoughts in me, but more clear. Perhaps I was a mirror – they saw their faces in the mirror and they enjoyed that: "How beautiful is the mirror!" They were only saying that about their own faces, reflections. They were not even aware that they were standing before a mirror."

"So many came in these twenty-five years, and it was natural that many would turn away at a certain point: whenever their philosophy felt offended, their mind felt that they would have to change their way of thinking. Rather than choosing me, they had chosen themselves – and moved away. With you it is a totally different thing."

"In these twenty-five years, there have been many springs. And I am not a static person; I am just like a river – continuously flowing. If you can come with me, good; if you cannot come with me, that too is good. But I cannot change my flow just to adjust to people; I have never adjusted to anybody." "I don't know any compromise. So only those people who have loved me so much that if there was a question of choosing between me and themselves, they would choose me – only those people have remained with me for these twenty-five years."

"You can use the mind as an instrument, but it cannot remain your master; and, Nitin, it is still your master. You are quoting a Sufi saying which you cannot understand. The only person alive on the earth who can understand it is Ajit Saraswati. He was in the same trap in which you are – he approached me from his mind. Because I was saying things which he had not the courage to say, or was not articulate enough to say, he came closer to me, and as he became more and more articulate, listening, he asked me, "Many Rotary Clubs, Lions Clubs ask me to speak about You – should I go?"

"I never prevent people; I knew that this was going to be his downfall. I said, "If they are inviting you, you can go." And he started talking to the Rotary Clubs in Poona and Kholapur and Sholapur – in different places. He had come with me to America too, and when he found that he could say the same words, he could manage to argue in the same way, he came back to Poona. There was a celebration in the ashram and everybody thought that he had come directly from the commune, he must have brought some flavor with him – so they asked him to speak. And I was informed that: "It was such a surprise to us that he was not speaking about You, he was speaking himself – and he knows nothing."

"And since I have come here he has not come to the ashram, he has not come to any meetings, he has not come even to see me once – and he has been related to me almost for twenty years. But that relation was the same as your relation: of the mind. Now he has become a parrot. He runs small classes where he teaches – not even mentioning my name; he teaches as if he has experienced.

Zareen asked him, "You have not come to see Osho?"
He said, "I love him very much. He is in my heart; I need not come to see him." Can you see the cunningness of the mind? It means lovers should stop seeing each other, because what is the point? "I love you too much. You are in my heart; there is no need to see you."
"There is every possibility for you to shift your energy from the head to the heart, and I would like to add also from the heart to the being – because the heart is only a half-way station. You can have a little stopover, change trains; you can have some breakfast, and rest a little before the train that goes to the being leaves the platform. The heart is not the goal; the heart is only a means to attain the being. All these are possible for you, Nitin, just as they are possible for anybody else; but you have to put your conceptions in the right order. It ay hurt, it may be painful – all surgery is painful – but if you are courageous enough, you can move through the surgery and you will come out of it healed, healthier, more wholesome. . It May hurt, it may be painful – all surgery is painful."

"AND SHE WAS ONE OF THE MEMBERS OF THE CRIMINAL GANG THAT WAS THE ROOT CAUSE THAT AMERICAN POLITICIANS USED TO DESTROY THE COMMUNE."

"Deva Aneesha, there is nothing for you to be sorry for. It is just your love, and your sensitivity that is making you feel remorse and sorrow."

"I had answered Patipada, and certainly I am wounded and hurt; but not by you. You simply felt my being wounded and hurt, and that's why you are puzzled, why you are feeling sorry and sad. But Patipada is not feeling sorry or sad – just thick-skinned."

"She has also written a letter to me, saying, "I looked deep into myself, and I don't feel that I have to be sorry for anything, that I have to apologize to the commune or to you." "And she was one of the members of the criminal gang that was the root cause that American politicians used to destroy the commune. She was aware that even my room was bugged by Sheela, and I had asked Sheela, "Is my room bugged?"

She flatly denied it, but I could see from her face – she became pale, and she said, "Tomorrow I can bring the electricians to check it, but it is not bugged." And Patipada knew all these things.

"I have loved you so much, I have trusted you so much, and this is the reward you give me – you bug my own room. And she does not feel that she owes an apology. I have not been saying that she has done these things, but the group that was doing them... she was part of it. At least she could have informed me, she could have enquired whether I have ordered Sheela to bug my room. But still she is not repentant about it."

"You are very sensitive. Your love is great, your trust is immense. You have not done anything, neither were you aware of anything that was being done; but you have felt my wound, and that feeling is disturbing you."

"My wound is: I am the first person in history who has given women not only equality in my communes, but even superiority. You have not failed me, but my opinion of women has certainly gone down.

I was trying to compensate, because man has tortured woman for centuries – made her feel inferior in every way."

"My effort was to bring woman to her natural status; but a group of twenty women proved far uglier than twenty men would have proved. They have not only destroyed the commune, they have destroyed their only friend in the whole world, who has given them superior status and a more spiritual consciousness."

"In Patipada's letter she writes, "I don't feel that I owe any apology to you, or to the commune." And still she ends the letter with, "I put my head at your feet." For what? If she cannot even say "I am sorry," then putting her head at my feet is just words without meaning."

"But all this happened unconsciously, so I am not angry, just wounded. I don't want you to feel"

A TRAGIC EXAMPLE OF FALLING BACK FROM SUNLIT HEIGHTS TO THE DARK VALLEY

"BUT I WILL FOR CERTAIN, ABSOLUTELY FOR CERTAIN, LOOK STRAIGHT INTO HIS EYES. WHAT KIND OF GREED...!"
The most intimate disciple of Osho with a very long association reached the point of enlightenment but was deceived by the greed and slipped back to the point from where he had started the journey. The following is his tragic story as told by Osho in His own words:-

1 September 1986
"REJOICE THAT YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS IS GROWING"

"Govind Siddharth, the question may sound ordinary to many people; it is not. Govind Siddharth, it is not the beard that is creating the mischief. In fact, why you started growing the beard; that is the problem!"

"People who have been around me slowly start growing a beard. I don't say anything to them, but something happens in their minds. They start realizing that the beard is a natural thing to a man, and to shave it is as ugly as a woman starting to grow a beard. Just think of a woman.... And it is not difficult – she can just have a few injections, a few hormones that are needed to grow a beard, and she will have a beard! But I don't think that any man would like her, or that anybody is going to say, "What a beautiful woman!" But the beard, to men, is a natural thing."

"As you start meditating, your life becomes more and more natural in so many ways. The beard is just a small part of it. You will find it easier to have a beard, more spontaneous. And this is symbolic of other happenings in your life: the way you walk, the way you see, the way you sit."

"So don't be angry with those people who prostrate themselves before you. Just bless them on my behalf because they are not prostrating themselves before you, they are prostrating themselves before me – you are simply a medium. So on my behalf just bless them, and you will be surprised that your blessing reaches to their hearts. You can see the joy, the blissfulness that comes to them by your blessing."

"I can understand your embarrassment, but what to do? To be with a man like me you have to go through many sufferings – these are the sufferings. You have to pay for it. But there is no need to feel ego, no need to feel pride. Just feel humble that you have become a vehicle, that you have become a medium, that people can see me through you."

"But you should rejoice that your consciousness is growing, that your mirror is getting more and more clean. It is not the beard, it is your growth of consciousness that gives the feel... and the feel is so strong that those people will not be able to see the distinctions that you can see. You can compare photographs, and you can see that they don't resemble each other. Why are people coming to your house and asking why you have your own photographs all around?"

23 September 1986 pm
"NOW THE DOORS ARE OPEN ANDYOU ARE INSIDE THE TEMPLE"

"Govind Siddharth, it would have been better if you had not asked the question – because I always touch the heads of the wrong people. They need it; they need all the support possible."

"There have been very few people who have been with me for so long, with such trust, with such devotion. This is the first time he has asked any questions, and I think the last time – because he has asked all the questions!"

"But he has been growing. Many people have come and gone, but he has remained the same – with the same love, with the same devotion – and has continued to work upon himself. And I have not been helping him much, not even this much – putting my hand on his head, which is not a difficult thing. I have been doing it to thousands of heads, but those heads are very thick."

"I was waiting... one day I will touch Govind Siddharth's head, but that day will be when he is really in need – when he has done everything, has not left anything undone and only a small push is needed from my side." "So what happened to you was not your imagination. And now many more things will start happening, because now the doors are open and you are inside the temple."

24 September 1986 pm
"HE HAS ARRIVED TO THE POINT WHICH WE CALL ENLIGHTENMENT"

"And that day, Govind Siddharth tasted something of the beyond. He experienced the flowering. I have not given a flower to him, but he has experienced the flowering of his inner lotus."

"Every one of you, sooner or later, is going to taste, to experience the same mystery.
He is what Gautam Buddha used to call "become an elder."
"He has arrived to the point which we call enlightenment."
"And you should rejoice in it because one of you becoming enlightened makes it easier for you to become enlightened, makes it possible, brings it within your reach."
"Govind Siddharth becomes a proof for your potential. You should rejoice as if you have become enlightened. His becoming enlightened is your becoming enlightened; it is only a question of time. But he is enough of a proof and a guarantee."
"When I gave sannyas to Govind Siddharth I thought for a moment for his name, and I felt so definitely that he was going to achieve the meaning that I gave him the same name, Siddhartha. And he has fulfilled my feeling of that moment. He has fulfilled a promise that he had not given to me."
"It is not only his enlightenment; it is yours, too. Participate in it, celebrate it. That should be the way of every disciple. Anyone coming home, a part of you has also come home with him – recognize it."
"And Govind Siddhartha is doubly blessed: my blessings are with him, and now Gautam Buddha's blessings are also with him."
"What has happened to Govind Siddharth, I hope and bless you all that nobody should be left behind. You all have to claim your birthright."

29 December 1988 pm in Gautama the Buddha Auditorium, Pune
BACK IN THE DARK VALLEY OF GREED

"Man is so blind, it is almost certain that he will misunderstand. He is not only blind, he is greedy.
When I came back from America, Govind Siddharth, one of my very old sannyasins told me, "You used to come to Ahmedabad, and just for you I have been keeping my ancestral home, because nobody lives there." His mother has died, his father has died, and one brother has gone to America."

"And Govind Siddharth lives in Bombay, has his business there. He was certainly keeping a beautiful house. But when I told him, "I am no more going to move around the country; now whosoever is thirsty has to come to the well," he said, "I will sell the house."
"He sold the house, and he informed me that, "Thirty-three lakh rupees are in the bank for your work whenever you want. Whatever the work, that money is there."

"I asked him, "Is there any involvement with the family? Have you settled with your brother?"
He said to me, "Yes, the money is absolutely free now, just for your work."
"After three days I told Neelam, who was working from Bombay as my secretary, to ask Govind Siddharth to transfer the money to one of the trusts, because I was going to move to Poona and tremendous forces were going to gather there. In three days his greed took over his great desire to work for me. He said, "Thirty-three lakhs is too much. I can only afford three lakhs."

"Neelam told me that in just three days he has reduced it from thirty-three lakhs to three lakhs. I said, "Don't be worried. Just go and get the three lakhs." And when she reached him Govind Siddharth said, "It is very difficult. My whole family is involved in it" – I had asked him that before, and he had denied it. And I know for sure that the money has nothing to do with his family."

"Neelam was shocked. She came running to me and said, "It is unbelievable that a man can turn about like this." I said, "Forget about that. You have another account of three lakh rupees, which has been donated from simple and loving people from all over the country. It is in your name and Govind Siddharth's name. It is not his money; please just take that money out of his hands."

She said, "Do you think he will change his mind about that money also, which is not his?" I said, "Man's blindness, his unconscious greed is vast enough. You just go, and be quick!"

"And Govind Siddharth started playing games, saying, "I cannot allow you to take all of the three lakhs, because while Bhagwan was not here I gave thirty-five thousand rupees for his work to the Bombay center. I will have to deduct that much money."
I told Neelam, "Let him deduct it, if thirty-five thousand can satisfy him" – which was not his money!
Then too, it took almost one month to get the money out, leaving behind the thirty-five thousand without any reason except that his signature was needed. This money was paid for his signature.

And now I don't see him here. Perhaps he is afraid to look into my eyes, straight. I will not ask him about the money. I have never asked anybody about money, but I will for certain, absolutely for certain, look straight into his eyes. What kind of greed...!
"And it is not that he has not loved me, but an unconscious love is a blind love. It is only a superficial hypocrisy, of which you are not aware."

MUKTA IS ONE OF THOSE UNWAVERING PEOPLE THAT HAVE BECOME VERY RARE IN THE WORLD.

"Mukta, perhaps the other morning you became aware of my eyes and became aware of your love. But as far as I am concerned, you are the only sannyasin amongst millions who has loved me from the very first day you entered into my room some twenty years ago."

"Mukta is one of those unwavering people that have become very rare in the world. She had not come for me; she had come just to accompany another sannyasin. That other sannyasin has disappeared long ago. She used to come to India at least two or three times a year to see me. She was American, very rich, and was constantly thinking that when her father dies... That old fellow was holding all the money."

"Then I went to America, but she never came to the commune. The old man had died, and now she had all the money. She was afraid if she came to the commune and saw me it would be difficult. She had been telling me again and again, "Osho, don't be worried. He cannot live forever. Once he is gone, our ashram is not going to have any trouble about money." I said, "This is very ugly. The very idea is ugly and poisonous."

"But he died and she became one of the richest women in America. She never came to see me in five years while I was in America and the last thing she did when she found that the American government was trying to destroy the commune or in some way deport me..."
The U.S. attorney general had said, "Our main purpose is to silence Osho absolutely."
One journalist asked him, "What do you mean? Do you want to assassinate him?"
He said, "No, we have more sophisticated means to silence him."
"She became afraid that if the American government found out that she was my sannyasin... She sent a letter from her attorney."

"This is a strange world and gives tremendously hilarious moments. When I saw the letter I could not stop laughing. The letter said, "I have never been connected with Osho and I am not at all interested what happens to him or to the commune. I have never been to the commune. This is from my attorney to inform you that I have never been associated with you."

"She must have become afraid. It is very difficult when you are passing through dark nights; even your own shadows leave you."

"But Mukta is made of a different metal. She had come with that sannyasin just to see India; she had no conscious intention even to meet me. She came to see me just accidentally because that woman was coming to see me. And miracles happen in the world: that woman is lost, and Mukta has never left me for a single moment – here, in America, going around the world. She has left her home, she has left her husband, she has left her children, she has left all the heritage that her old father has left for her. She never went there to get that heritage; her other sister has swallowed the whole thing."

"She has never complained about anything. She has never differed in her mind for a single moment; she has passed from disciplehood to the state of devotee long ago."

"So it may have been, Mukta, that "the other morning you looked so young in my eyes. I love you" – but I have been loving you for twenty years. I can remember the first day you entered into my room in Bombay. Sitting on the sofa, I had a very clear perception that you had not come with Pratima, that sannyasin, but that Pratima had come with you, my future sannyasin."

"And the same day Mukta became a sannyasin."
"Such unwavering trust and love is the only miracle worth calling a miracle. Jesus walking on water is not miracle."

'VEERESH' AN INSTANCE OF UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.

"Now my Veeresh is here, hiding himself; this is the crazy type of man I am talking about. He has been following me everywhere on my world tour, but always hiding, just like that. He has not even a desire to be recognized – "I have been following you all around the earth" – but a pure love. He goes on working for me in Europe, in every possible way, doing whatever he can do. He puts his total energy into it and when he comes here – and he must be wanting to come here every day – he hides."

"That's the way of unconditional love. It is enough that I have looked into his eyes. It is enough... If I can catch hold of him once in a while he is fulfilled, he is contented; that I have recognized him, I remember him – that's enough."

"You cannot expect anything unexpected from a man who is not at all crazy, has no color, no juice. He is just an ordinary businessman type – not a poet, not a painter, not a singer, not a musician, not a dancer, not a meditator. These things are closed for your so-called sane, sober, respectable people of the society. These respectable people have not contributed anything to the world to make it more beautiful; only the people who have been called crazy by their contemporaries have been the creative people, the contributors. The whole evolution depends on them."

"Just the other day I said a few words about Veeresh, one of the most sincere, honest and authentic therapists. And just now as I entered I saw him again. He was crying just like a child, with utter joy. These tears are my creation."

"They will not be recorded in any history book, but they will transform many who will come in contact with him. With his tears he has bridged his heart with my heart, his being with my being. He is one of the silent workers who go on doing, without bragging about anything."

Note: All above quotations from the books of Osho are under copyright of Osho International Foundation, Pune, India.
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